Don't leave this rock unturned 'cuz you could like what you find

I drive down 7th East every day and along this route I see two things that are the same in absurdity. One occurs early on in the morning. There is a man who stands outside one of those hole-in-the-wall breakfast joints with a sign that says an early bird special is in effect. The problem is that the only guy that would volunteer to work at seven in the morning in the winter is a rather unkempt individual; a man who looks like he's missed more than a few early bird specials. Maybe they should beef this dude up so that people like me would see the sign as an indicator of good eats instead of a signal for incongruities. The same holds true for my afternoon trips down 7th East. A man walks the adjacent corner with a sign for Super Cuts. "0-15 Minute Wait" is advertised. You guessed it: the man has the longest hair in the state of Utah (not hard when half the state is bound somehow to BYU's honor code). So, instead of thinking, "I've got some long locks. Why not cut them?" I'm thinking, "Losers. Cut that dude's hair and use him as an example!" But wait! What if the man became fat, or the other got his hair trimmed? Would I have become comfortable with the flaw and therefore bitter towards the positive change? Am I happy to find joy in the flaws this world offers? Yes I am! That guy better stay sickly looking. That other guy better give DragonForce's guitarist a run for his money!