So, my wife is off to church and I'm left at home with my ill feeling stomach. I blog. With my stomach causing me such pains I'm left with quasi-bitter thoughts about SUVs. Actually, the bitter thoughts are about the fools who drive them. When I see commercials for these vehicles it is usually to the effect that SUVs are one step short of Superman. They can take pot holes as deep as Hades, forde streams like no caulked Oregon Trail wagon ever did, and even climb buildings. Yet, for all the wonders these wonder vehicles can wonderfully do why is it that the owners can't take a speed bump like an SUV driver from the commercials? You bought the thing so that when you are camping in the tundra you can drive off a cliff and paraglide your vehicle to the perfect spot, yet you can't go more than three miles an hour into your driveway? You can run over trees to make firewood, but you can't take that vicious speed bump at a friendly pace? But Willie, I need to haul a bunch of crap to various locations. SUVs help me be the perfect soccer mom. I think that's why people drove station wagons and minivans. You see a station wagon crawl over a speed bump and you think: That makes sense, any faster and that vehicle would fall apart! But an SUV? No excuse. None. Take that speed bump faster and stop making me late for school.
Here's a random quote from my wife (she just got home and made me feel better): "Men need to talk to women to really say anything of importance." Why did she need to say this? Well, men don't really get into serious talk unless a girl is around. Girls talk about the effects of death, new jobs and how it will play into the fiscal future, the smells of babies, and so on. Men talk about their latest video game struggles and how bad their last burp tasted. I can't tell you how many times I've told my wife that brother Travis is really good at Guitar Hero but how I don't know how his job has treated him lately. I can report to her that friend Nate is really interested in Vampire Weekend but I can't tell her what he actually does for a living. Luckily for her she can pull some pretty decent conversation out of me, and that is where her quote came from.
And that is ultimately why I love my wife: she hears my rants and gets me to talk straight when it matters. So, to her, happy post-Valentine's Day.
maybe you should extend your travel time to include 'slow-speed-bump-suv-drivers'... those extra 45 seconds are brutal.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I agree about me not saying anything of importance for the last 25 years. You can tell by my blog. Sometimes I wonder what my first words of importance will be...
I'm just an old woman, but I'd say that both you and Bart, and many other menfolk I know DO say important things, because I've heard them from you both. Women spill their guts and often regret it. Or if they are mean female types, they don't regret it and should. (don't throw tomatoes at me just yet, hear me out) Men talk when it's important. And they say what they mean. and they mean what they say. I'm thinkin' God made us that way. We women folk need feed back from our men folk because even if you feel we have total power over you, we cannot read your minds. That is the one power you have over us womenfolk....We don't like that very much.
ReplyDeleteHey y'all. I think my "quote" was taken out of context, let me clarify...I didn't say that men don't have anything of importance to say, I too have heard amazing things out of Bart and Willie. What I meant was that they usually don't offer it up unless a woman is around (and that doesn't just mean a wife or girlfriend - mothers, sisters, friends and cousins included). Guys rarely sit around and open up to each other on serious topics--they have a different way of communicating with each other. Guys communicate with guys by talking about and sharing similar interests. Not bad, just different.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Aunt Kathi, that men talk when it's important, and women often divulge more than they should. And Bart, I have to disagree that the contents of your blog are not "anything of importance," your wit and writing skills rock! How do you think I got to know Will so well in such a short amount of time? Through his writing - His stories!
I know my statement was very "blanket," and I very much appreciate the differences between men and women. Looking back, I should have added something like, "And women would overly worry and take themselves too seriously if they didn't have guys in their life to calm them down and help them enjoy life." But then that would be a blanket statement as well.
Liz, you rock! I love your guts. Amen to all you said!
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