Even if I stayed things just wouldn't be the same

It's true, Liz and I are having a child. Exciting, fun, but also a little frustrating. No, I'm not talking about moodiness, cravings, odd body pains; no, I'm referring to how we were going to tell everyone. Neither of us knew of a way in which we could tell all four sets of parents in a uniform way, so we just came up with our own for our own. We did, however, start out with a control. We both decided to use Christmas as our outlet and we would use a baby onesie for our prop. Liz did her own special thing for her parents and I wrote a poem for mine. Here's how it went down: I wrote a poem that they had to read before they opened their present. The contents will follow and you will see how the poem had nothing to do with a baby. I didn't want to give them a single clue. By the time they got to the end they would be one line short. They were to open the present to get that last line. (The poem is in ABAB.)

"It's Christmas Day and we all know that it is time for us all to be merry.
When I say "Be Merry" I don't mean "Be Mary" because we've already plenty of those.
Besides, all us men would have to cross-dress and we know that would be far to scary.
So we'll let the Marys be Merry and the Shelbys be Merry and continue along with the prose.

A bit further to delve, as I check myself, because I want to be perfectly clear:
When I say "Merry Time" I don't mean "Maritime" for that would make far little sense.
It would surely be odd to bring up seafaring in the most wonderful time of the year.
So, pirates aside, you can be quite sure that I shall never mention them hence.

So now that our phrase has been quite defined we'll move on to the grand conclusion.
We love you and hope you've had cause to be merry and we're glad we've a gift to supply.
Now rip off the paper and peak inside to find the end of this crazy narration..."

Parent opens to see the onesie and the final line

"You can't keep it long, we'll need it right back 'cause WE'RE HAVING A KID IN JULY!!!"

My dad thought that I was giving him the Pirates Trilogy or something. It was a lot of fun because we coordinated opening the gift with each parent. Of course, Oklahoma and Wyoming were on the phone, but it was still enjoyable. I will say, however, that Momma Kitty opened hers before we could call. Blast that impatience! Sister Ellie guessed beforehand, but other than those two hitches things went smashingly.

That's all for now. Watch the Sooners tonight. You know I'm already wearing my hat, shirt, and hoodie! Boomer!