Drive-by body pierce

So, here's the newest gripe: Switch to our internet because we have advanced satellite technology. Now, for the Everyman out there, just saying "technology" in your commercial gets my ears perked. Ah! Technology! This is a product! Then, add "satellite" to it, baby, you got yourself a stew! Satellite technology? Who is this witch doctor company? And how did they get around ol' Sputnik? They must be good. But wait, friends, there's more! "Advanced satellite technology!" Okay, enough is enough. Really? You've got me sold so far, but do you really need to say that it's advanced? It's a frickin' satellite! Who's going to top that? "Advanced" isn't necessary! Who are you trying to fool? And now I need to stop because I'm getting that exasperated Tom Hanks voice in my head as I type. Go ahead, read this paragraph again with the voice of Woody saying, "It's not a laser! It's little light bulb that blinks." You can use the picture of the creepy kid to help you visualize it. You could also read it with the Phil Hartman Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer voice. You decide. Choose your own adventure and then get back to me.

Oh, and as for news, I'm on Spring Break. Yes, that magical time in which I get to laze about and enjoy daytime television and Poptarts. When homework is simply something you do because you already saw this episode of "Scrubs" today. Indeed, it is a time in which your thumbs hurt because of video games. Yes, Spring Break, friends. Ahhhh! Yeah right! I've been working my tail off this week. I picked up some early shifts at work. Yikes. Never again. Getting up at four in the morning is not my cup of tea. Great work, lame hours. Maybe I can enjoy the break now?